Going Back to Where It Started
by iibelieveiinyou
Summary: After Kurt leaves Blaine, he goes to New York alone. He now attends NYADA and lives off-campus. Kurt is desperately seeking a new roommate. The person he least expected to ever see again is now desperately looking for a place to stay. *M for future chapters*
1. Prologue

_Three years ago..._

Kurt felt like he was floating on air. He was senior class president and he was going to NYADA in just three weeks. He's been dreaming of New York since he first stepped on a stage. But best of all, he wasn't going alone. He was going to be with his amazing boyfriend Blai-

"Blaine?" Kurt says in disbelief. Kurt was walking towards the Lima Bean, where he was going to meet Blaine for their usual after school coffee.

"Kurt!" Blaine says breathless. Kurt just witnessed Blaine kissing Sebastian on the side of a car in the parking lot. "It's not what it looks like."

"Oh no? So you didn't just have Sebastian's tongue down your throat?!" Kurt screams.

"Oh its exactly what it looks like gay-face. Little Blainey here enjoyed every minute of it, I'm sure." Sebastian says with his signature smirk.

Blaine pushes Sebastian away from him and tells him to go. He does just that, and now its just Kurt and Blaine. He tries to reach for Kurt, but he flinches back.

They look at each other and they both have tears in their eyes.

"Kurt. Please, let's talk." Blaine tries.

"I always knew I wasn't good enough for you, but this Blaine? Maybe _you_ were the one that wasn't good enough for _me. _I deserve better." Kurt tries to swallow the lump in his throat, but is unsuccessful. He lets out a choked sob, and runs back to his car.

He speeds away, and Blaine is left standing in the parking lot.

Alone.


	2. Chapter 1

Kurt Hummel is finishing up his third year at NYADA and even lives on the Upper East Side. You could say things were going pretty great for Kurt. He's got a job at the coffee shop down the block from his apartment, and he's been auditioning for plays every week. But things weren't going too great at home. His best friend, Brittany just moved out to move in with her girlfriend Santana. So that means he isn't able to pay rent on time, or at all.

Which is why he is out posting signs looking for a new roommate. If he didn't find one by the end of the month, he would be evicted and have absolutely nowhere to stay.

_Things would be so much easier if I had someone with me,_ Kurt thinks. _If only he'd stayed- No Kurt! Stop thinking that right now! He messed up! You're better off without him._

It's been three years since Kurt left Blaine. That day was the worst day of Kurt's life. They were supposed to be in New York together living their dreams with each other. Instead, Kurt left alone. He never looked back. That didn't stop his mind from going back. He always thought about Blaine, and where they would be right now if they stayed together. Some nights he'd cry himself to sleep, thinking about Blaine and that meerkat together.

Having Brittany in his life was a lifesaver. He met Brittany at a dance class he decided to take on a whim. She was the teacher of the group, and stayed after class to talk to her. They hit it off right away and soon became roommates. Now that Britt is gone, he feels lonely. Which is another reason why he is looking for another roommate.

Kurt is in bed sleeping, when all of a sudden, he hears banging on the door. He looks at the time and sees that its midnight. _Who the fuck is knocking on my door at this hour?! _Kurt thinks.

He looks through the peephole and sees a man standing there, head down, so he can't really get a good look of him. The man bangs on the door again and Kurt jumps back, but now has a furious look in his eyes.

Kurt opens the door, ready to yell at this man for waking him up in the middle of the night. His comment dies in his throat once the man looks up at him.

Kurt can't believe his eyes. The man he never wanted to see again, although always thinks about, is now standing on his doorstep looking at him with pleading eyes. He has a black eye and a busted lip.

_What happened to him? _Kurt thinks to himself. _Wait a minute. Its not my job to know anymore. _

"Kurt," Blaine says brokenly.

But before Blaine can finish, Kurt slams the door in his face.

_What is he doing here?! How did he find me?! Oh god, he was hurt. Maybe I should have helped him! What if he's in trouble? _Kurt leans against the door and takes a deep breath. _Maybe if I'm lucky he'll just leave. _

Luck was just not on his side lately. Blaine knocks on the door, and Kurt could hear very faintly, "Kurt, please open the door."

Kurt is torn. Should he open back up to his past? The truth is, Kurt never really closed that door anyway. So he makes his decision now, before he talks himself out of it. He opens the door, and Blaine jumps back. He is so grateful that Kurt opened the door.

"What are you doing here?" Kurt says, trying to sound confident.

"I-I need a p-place to s-stay." Blaine stutters out.

"Why? What, no family? No boyfriend to take care of you?" Kurt snaps. Blaine winces at the last part of Kurt's question.

"I um… I j-just left h-him actually." Blaine says.

"Did he cheat on you too, like you did to me? Karma's a bitch you know." Kurt knows he's being a bit harsh, but he needs to stay strong. Kurt can see how tense Blaine is. Even though his guard is up, he still really wants to know what happened to Blaine.

"N-no, Kurt. I…he…" Blaine is trying to figure out how to tell Kurt what happened to him. Lucky for him, Kurt eases the struggle for him.

"He what? Is he the one that hurt you?" Kurt asks.

Blaine is shaking. He is looking at the ground, trying to hold back his sobs. Kurt can sense this, and does something he might regret.

"Come on in. I'll make us some coffee and we can talk."

They're sitting on the couch now, Blaine with his eyes to the floor, and Kurt with his eyes on Blaine.

"So do you want to talk about it?" Kurt asks.

"I'm scared." Blaine whispers.

"Why? Tell me what happened." Kurt prods.

"He-he h-hit m-me." Blaine says with a quivering voice. Kurt tries his best not to slide over to Blaine and scoop him up into his arms. "I w-was just p-playing my guitar, a-and he c-came home. He y-yelled a-at me for n-not having dinner m-made. He c-called me w-worthless, and then h-he hit me." Blaine was full on sobbing now.

Kurt was in rage. _How could someone hurt this beautiful, perfect- _Kurt stopped his thinking process right there. He reached out his hand, and put it on Blaine's shoulder, trying in some way to comfort him.

After a while, Blaine calmed down and wiped his eyes. "I'm sorry Kurt, this was not how I wanted to look when we first saw each other again. But I really need a place to stay. I saw your flier..." Blaine takes the flier out of his pocket and shows it to Kurt.

"I don't know Blaine. We have history, and I'm not sure if I'm ready to be near you yet." Kurt says as gently as he can.

"Please Kurt," Blaine begs. "I'll do anything. Please."

Kurt seems pensive. He won't let Blaine live here until everything is out in the open. "We have to talk first. I mean _really _talk."

"Okay. Anything, Kurt. I mean it." Blaine says in relief.

"Wait, I have one more question before we talk about anything." Kurt says.

"Okay, shoot." Blaine says.

"Um… what was your ex-boyfriend's name?" _I need to know who hurt you. _Kurt thinks.

"I'm n-not r-really sure that's i-important i-is it?" Blaine seems nervous now.

Now Kurt really wants to know. "Tell me, Blaine."

"I-it was S-Sebastian."


	3. Chapter 2

"Sebastian?" Kurt asks just above a whisper.

Blaine is looking at the ground. He hopes Kurt doesn't kick him out for this.

"S-so that means you really c-cheated on me with him."

"N-no Kurt. It wasn't like that when you saw us. I tried telling you, but you left. I tried calling and texting you. I went to see you, but your dad told me you had already left for New York. By then I realized you really didn't want anything to do with me."

"Blaine." Kurt says, but Blaine continues ignoring Kurt.

"I was miserable Kurt. You probably still want nothing to do with me…"

"Blaine!" Kurt stops Blaine's rambling.

"How about I be the judge of that. We're adults now. I think we are more than capable of having a mature conversation. Do you agree?" _What are you doing?! _Kurt thinks.

"Yes." Blaine says. He can't believe Kurt is going to actually let him finally explain everything.

_I can't believe I'm letting him explain! C'mon Kurt, you want to know what really happened too. You've only thought about it every single day for the past three years! Ugh! Fine!_

"Okay," Kurt says, finally snapping out of his internal struggle. He takes a deep breath and continues. "When I saw you and him, what did I _really_ see?"

"I was heading towards the Lima Bean to meet you before Sebastian stopped me, and started talking about getting wine of his Warbler blazer. So we talked for about 5 minutes and then all of a sudden I'm being pushed against a car and he kisses me. I was in shock, Kurt. You have to believe me. I would never do that to you." Blaine pleads.

"Why didn't you push him away? From the looks of it, you looked to be enjoying it."

"I was frozen Kurt. I mean, he _forced _himself on me. You know what that's like." Blaine says.

Kurt winces at the thought of when Karofsky forcefully stole his first kiss, back when he was a junior in high school.

"Yeah." Kurt says quietly.

"Anyway, I was frozen and as soon as I regained some thought, you showed up and everything went to shit." Blaine says with regret.

"So how does Sebastian fit into all of this now? I mean you're dating Sebastian." Kurt says with venom in his voice at the thought of Sebastian. Kurt's not even sure he really wants to know the answer to his question, but braces himself either way.

"Well, about a month after we broke up, I moved here and I ran into him at the bookstore. I was surprised to see him. As much as I didn't want to speak to him, he was pretty consistent on speaking to me. He asked me out to coffee, and promised to not try anything. He only wanted to talk. I reluctantly agreed and coffee went well. He seemed like a different person. We hung out some more and one thing led to another…" Blaine trailed off.

_Oh god, I do not need to know anymore of this. _

Blaine continued on, his voice growing more quiet. "We were together for almost 3 years, and suddenly he started acting differently." Blaine shakes his head as if he's trying to figure out himself, what happened to Seb. "He started coming home drunk and demanding sex. I had no choice but to give it to him. I was so scared of what he would do." Blaine ends with a whisper.

_I can't believe this. I mean I always knew Sebastian was a prick, but I didn't think he was capable of this! _Kurt thinks.

"I never thought he was capable of doing that. Of hurting me. I didn't do anything wrong, Kurt. I didn't do anything wrong." Blaine begins to cry and puts his head in his hands.

_Screw it! _Kurt thinks. He then slides closer to Blaine and pulls him into a hug. Blaine tensed for a moment before he realized whose arms he was in and instantly relaxed. They stayed like that until Blaine calmed down enough to separate.

There was a bit of an awkward silence, until Kurt decides to break it.

"So…"

"So, now that you know everything, can you forgive me?" Blaine asks with a bit of hope in his voice.

Kurt hesitates at first. "I still need to think about this. I mean, you _really _hurt me, Blaine. It won't just go away after a few minutes."

Blaine shrinks into the couch more.

"Why don't we get some rest, and see how things go." Kurt says, getting up and walking towards his bedroom.

"Wait. Does that mean I get to stay?" Blaine asks, with even more hope.

"Rent is due in 3 weeks. $900. Your room is over there." And he points to the bedroom down the hall from his room.

"Oh my god! Thank you so much Kurt! You have no idea how much this means to me. I promise I won't be any trouble." Blaine runs to Kurt and gives him a hug. He doesn't know what to do at first, but then he wraps his arms around Blaine and silently breathes him in.

_Smells just like I remembered. STOP KURT! What are you doing?! You can't get attached again! _

Kurt pulls away quickly, and says an awkward goodnight.

_What did I just get myself into?_


	4. Chapter 3

The next morning came all too soon for Kurt's liking. He was on and off with sleep, because Blaine kept playing his guitar throughout the night. Kurt takes a quick shower and gets ready for the day. Ready meaning spending 45 minutes searching for an outfit and an extra half hour on his hair to make sure it looked absolutely perfect. And this had nothing to do with Blaine. Not at all.

When Kurt emerges from his bedroom looking fabulous in a blue v-neck t-shirt to match his eyes, skin tight black skinny jeans, and a pair of white Doc Martens. He sees Blaine at the kitchen counter and is about to say good morning, before Blaine looks up at him.

Blaine's jaw is agape, taking all of Kurt in. _He's just as beautiful as always. If not more. _Blaine thinks.

"Did you get any sleep?!" Kurt asks, taking in Blaine's blood-shot red eyes.

"Huh?" Blaine snaps his mouth shut before he begins to produce drool.

"Your eyes are so red. Were you not able to sleep?" Kurt asks, worriedly.

"Oh. No, I didn't get any sleep. But don't worry, its not the apartment. I was up all night writing some songs for tonight. Nothing new." Blaine says, as if its obvious.

"But," Blaine continues, "I did get some breakfast for you as a thank you for last night." Blaine hands him a bagel and a coffee.

Kurt thanks him and takes a sip of his coffee. He almost chokes when he realizes what kind of coffee it is.

"Is something wrong Kurt? Do you not like the coffee?" Blaine asks concerned.

"You remembered my coffee order?" Kurt asks quietly.

"Of course I do." Blaine says. "Kind of hard to forget when we got coffee everyday after school when we were dating."

Kurt flinches, but recovers quickly. He doesn't want Blaine to see how deeply affected he still is by their breakup. Blaine doesn't seem to notice. _Keep it together, Kurt. You can get through this. This is nothing._

"Um… so do you know what you're wearing to your gig tonight?" Kurt asks, keeping the conversation safe.

"Actually, I don't. I was thinking about just going in a t-shirt, jeans, and flip-flops." Blaine says.

Kurt almost has a heart attack. "You can't wear flip-flops! I will not allow this! I may not be able to be there, because I have work tonight, but I will help you with your wardrobe."

"Really? Kurt, you really don't have to." Deep down Blaine really wanted any time he could have with Kurt.

"No, I really do. Trust me, Blaine. I'll come here before work and pick out something casual yet classy. Presentation is important, Blaine." Kurt says. '

"Thanks so much, Kurt. I guess I'll see you later then?" Blaine asks.

Kurt looks at the time and sees he has to go. "Yeah, later."

"Have a good day Kurt." Blaine says with that smile that drives Kurt crazy.

"Bye." Kurt says, and runs out the door.

Kurt arrives to class on time and sits in his usual seat. He's soon accompanied with someone that even Kurt thinks is too handsome for his own good. Jeremy Hunter. Tall, brown hair (not too dark, not too light), brown eyes, a smile to die for. Most importantly, straight. Kurt knew right away, especially from his experience in high school with Sam and his step-brother Finn. Jeremy and Kurt became friends during the first semester of the course. You could say they were sort-of close.

While waiting for the professor, Jeremy speaks up. "Okay, spill."

"What are you talking about?" Kurt asks, genuinely confused.

"I can see something is on your mind. Almost as if you're arguing with yourself. Which brings me to my comment again. Spill." Jeremy says. He can pretty much see right through Kurt.

_How does he do that? _Kurt thinks.

"Ugh! Fine. My ex came by yesterday, and asked for a place to stay."

"Ah. I can see the argument you're having in your head now. 'Should I have let him stay? Am I doing the right thing?' Am I right?" Jeremy asks.

"How do you do that? But yes, you are. He's the one I told you about. He got into a situation with his ex, and I just couldn't turn him away. You should've seen him last night, Jeremy. He looked like an abused, lost puppy." Kurt sighs. "I just couldn't leave him like that."

Jeremy seems to think over what Kurt just said. "You are too good of a person, do you know that Kurt Hummel? He's lucky to have you. He better not mess it up this time. Because then he'll have to answer to me."

Kurt laughs at Jeremy's protectiveness. But realizes what he just said. "Wait. What do you mean mess it up this time? What is there to mess up? There's nothing between us."

Jeremy looks at Kurt, and then laughs.

"What is so funny?" Kurt asks, getting irritated.  
"Its just that… Kurt, this guy-"

"Blaine." Kurt interrupts.

"Blaine. He's living with you now. If there is 'nothing' between you two, there will be. Whether it be romantically or just platonic, there will be something. And besides, you guys have history together. A lot of history, as far as I'm concerned. There will always be something there. You just choose not to see it for the sake of your heart." Jeremy says a bit quieter.

_How the hell does he _do _that?!_ Kurt thinks.

Kurt chooses not to respond, but instead focusing his attention to the front of the classroom.

The rest of Kurt's day goes by rather quickly, but uneventfully. Kurt walks into the apartment and looks around to find it empty.

"Blaine?" Kurt calls out. No answer. He walks around the apartment until he hears that the shower is on. _Oh god, Blaine in the shower. I remember our times in the- STOP IT KURT!_

Kurt shakes himself, and goes into Blaine's room. He finds that Blaine has laid out a few outfit choices for tonight. Kurt seems to slightly approve of some. _With my help, it would be perfect._

Kurt goes into his own closet and searches for what he's looking for. "Aha!" He says triumphantly.

Kurt returns to Blaine's room, and forms the outfit he's made up in his head. He decided to go with the purple v-neck, black vest (to be left opened), and Blaine's dark blue jeans. No flip-flops, but completed with all black Oxfords. _Perfect._

Kurt doesn't hear the shower turn off, or the bathroom door open. So when he turns around to leave, there's Blaine. Standing in a towel, still dripping wet. In the doorway. Kurt's mouth is hanging open, rather unattractively. _Ohmygod Ohmygod! He's in a fucking towel! I just want to lick those drops of water going down his chest. Down…down…down- Oh god! Snap out of it Kurt! _

Kurt blinks a few times, before he realizes Blaine is talking.

"Kurt? Earth to Kurt. I lost you for a minute there. You okay?" Blaine asks, with amusement in his voice. This makes Kurt annoyed.

"Yes, I'm okay." Kurt snaps.

"Okay. Well, can you get out of my room so I can get ready for tonight?" Blaine asks.

"Yeah. I have to head to work anyway. Good luck tonight, I guess." Kurt says. _You guess?_

"Thanks. And thanks for picking out the outfit Kurt. Its perfect." There goes that damn smile again.

"Right. Bye." Kurt says, and almost stumbles out of the room.

Kurt is busy at work at the coffee house, wondering why its so packed. They only get this packed when there is going to be a performer for the night. Wait a second. _Blaine said he had a gig tonight. _

Sure enough, 20 minutes later Blaine walks in with his guitar in hand. He seems surprised to see Kurt there.

"Kurt? This is where you work?"

"Yup. Just couldn't stay away from my coffee." Kurt jokes. "I didn't know you were playing tonight, until I noticed how many people were here."

"Oh. Well I better go get set up. I guess I'll talk to you after?" Blaine sounds hopeful.

"Um, yeah. Good luck again." Kurt says.

"So is that him?" Jeremy says lowly behind Kurt.

Kurt almost jumps out of his skin, and slaps him playfully on the arm. He looks at where Jeremy is looking and nods.

"Not bad, Hummel." He says amused.

"Oh shut up. I didn't know he was playing tonight until about a half hour ago." Kurt sighs.

Kurt walks back behind the counter while Jeremy follows. Blaine was quietly watching Kurt and Jeremy interact. He can't help but feel hurt. _Of course Kurt would have a boyfriend. Its not like he's going to jump back into my arms one day after 3 years of nothing. Maybe one day… No Blaine. He's taken! Remember what he said, you're not good enough for him. Not anymore._

Blaine sighs, and continues to finalize his set list for the night. He tries to ignore the sight of Kurt and Jeremy in front of him as best as he can.

"So when is your girlfriend going to be here?" Kurt asks.

Jeremy looks at his watch. "In about five minutes, I believe."

"Great. I'll get your usual's now." Kurt skips away happily to get started on the coffee.

"Hey guys, I'm Blaine Anderson. I'm all yours for tonight, so I'll just jump straight into this. This first song, I actually wrote last night. I just got out of a really tough situation, and this expresses how I'm feeling now."

Blaine starts strumming the guitar, and begins to sing.

_You shout it out,  
But I can't hear a word you say  
I'm talking loud not saying much  
I'm criticized but all your bullets ricochet  
You shoot me down, but I get up _

_I'm bulletproof, nothing to lose  
Fire away, fire away  
Ricochet, you take your aim  
Fire away, fire away  
You shoot me down but I won't fall  
I am titanium  
You shoot me down but I won't fall  
I am titanium _

_Cut me down  
But it's you who have further to fall  
Ghost town and haunted love  
Raise your voice, sticks and stones may break my bones  
I'm talking loud not saying much _

_I'm bulletproof, nothing to lose  
Fire away, fire away  
Ricochet, you take your aim  
Fire away, fire away  
You shoot me down but I won't fall  
I am titanium  
You shoot me down but I won't fall  
I am titanium  
I am titanium  
I am titanium _

_Stone-hard, machine gun  
Firing at the ones who run  
Stone-hard as bulletproof glass _

_You shoot me down but I won't fall  
I am titanium  
I am titanium _

The applause is deafening. Blaine feels so good. This is what he was born to do. This is what he was good at. He chances a look at Kurt, and sees a look of pride in his eyes. He feels hope. But their eyes are disconnected once Kurt looks away to speak to Jeremy. Blaine's heart falls. He knows exactly what to sing next, and hopes Kurt actually listens.

"Where is Tasha? I thought you said five minutes. Her coffee is already cold."

"She says she's running a bit late, but will be here really soon. Get her another please?" Jeremy puts on the "puppy" eyes, and Kurt goes because he can't say no to that face.

The next song I'd like to sing is a song I wrote about three years ago. This would be my first time performing it because I never had the right audience." Blaine says looking right at Kurt. He sits at the piano of the coffee house and begins to sing.

_When will I see you again?  
You left with no goodbye,  
Not a single word was said,  
No final kiss to seal any scene,  
I had no idea of the state we were in,_

I know I have a fickle heart and a bitterness,  
And a wandering eye, and heaviness in my head,

But don't you remember?  
Don't you remember?  
The reason you loved me before,  
Baby, please remember me once more,

When was the last time you thought of me?  
Or have you completely erased me from your memory?  
I often think about where I went wrong, 

_The more I do, the less I know,_

He chances a look at Kurt. He's frozen. Entranced by Blaine.__

But I know I have a fickle heart and a bitterness,  
And a wandering eye, and a heaviness in my head,

But don't you remember?  
Don't you remember?  
The reason you loved me before,  
Baby, please remember me once more,

Gave you the space so you could breathe,  
I kept my distance so you would be free,  
And hoped that you'd find the missing piece,  
To bring you back to me,

Why don't you remember?  
Don't you remember?  
The reason you loved me before,  
Baby, please remember you used to love me

When will I see you again?

By the end of the song, Blaine has tear tracks on his face. This song was important to sing tonight. Kurt was here tonight. He was finally able to tell Kurt what he's been wanting to tell him for so long. He chances another look at Kurt and sees Kurt with misty eyes. Kurt quickly blinks away the tears threatening to spill, but one slips out. He brushes it away, as fast as it came down. He tries to get back to work, but is distracted by what Blaine just sang. He doesn't know what to think or feel.

Blaine is getting ready for the last song. He's wondering if its a good decision to sing it or not. Its been a part of his set list since he started performing in the city. He's going to take the chance and sing it anyway. He's slightly caught off guard for a minute when he sees a girl walk in and run up to Kurt's _boyfriend _and kisses him deeply.

_Ohmygod! Kurt's boyfriend is cheating on him! Wait, why is Kurt hugging her now? Oh! Kurt's boyfrie- FRIEND is STRAIGHT. Jeez, Blaine. All that jealousy for nothing. _He takes a deep breath and gets ready for the last song of the night.

"Okay guys, its about that time of the show. The last song of the night. You see, this song has been apart of me since I was 16, and its really special to me. I hope you love my take on it. Thanks for coming out tonight and seeing me perform. I hope you enjoyed it all." He sits at the piano once again. This time looking directly at Kurt, he begins to sing.

_I think you're pretty without any makeup on _

Kurt's heart stops. He can't stay here. Its too much.

_I think you're funny when you tell the punchline wrong  
I knew you got me when you let your walls come down, down_

Everyone seems to be enjoying the song. Kurt on the other hand is freaking out internally. _I need to go. This is too much for me. Oh god._

Kurt runs out before Blaine can get to the chorus.

Blaine on the other hand, doesn't stop singing. Instead, he watches Kurt leave him for the second time in his life.


	5. Chapter 4

By the time Kurt makes it through his front door, he's sobbing. He grabs the bottle of vodka he saves for when Britt comes over, and shuts himself in his room.

_How could he do that? Why would he sing that song? Why _that _song? _Kurt's mind is going a mile a minute. He just wants it all to stop. He puts his iPod on the dock and turns it up all the way. He feels the burn of the alcohol go down his throat, and its a pain he doesn't mind feeling right now.

_Anything to make me forget. _So Kurt drinks more. And more…and more.

Blaine returns home about 20 minutes after Kurt left the coffee shop. Blaine doesn't know what he expected to come home to, and it sure as hell wasn't this. He can hear Kurt in his room, singing along to a song. Its a bit muffled, but he can just make it out.

_Don't speak  
I know just what you're saying  
So please stop explaining  
Don't tell me cause it hurts  
Don't speak  
I know what you're thinking  
I don't need your reasons  
Don't tell me cause it hurts_

Our memories  
Well, they can be inviting  
But some are altogether  
Mighty frightening  
As we die, both you and I  
With my head in my hands  
I sit and cry

The singing dies down, but the song keeps playing. Blaine is torn, wondering if he should just go to his room and leave Kurt alone, or try and talk to him. Taking a chance, he chooses the latter.

He bangs on Kurt's door, trying to be louder than the music. Kurt must have heard him, because the music is turned down. Kurt swings the door open and looks at Blaine with anger.

Blaine can see that Kurt has been drinking. He smells enough like it.

"Oh, its you." Kurt says with venom.

"What the hell happened Kurt? First you run out and now I find you here drunk." Blaine says concernedly.

"What happened? You want to know what happened? Hm, lets see. Three years ago, I was in love and happy with this really amazing guy named Blaine. Maybe you know him? He looks a lot like you too. Well, I caught him cheating on me with an asshole that looked like a fucking meerkat! You want to hear the best part?"

Blaine is getting frustrated now. Can't Kurt see how sorry he's been? Before he can say anything, Kurt continues on.

"He shows up on my doorstep out of the blue. And what do I do? I tell him he can stay! How stupid am I? He doesn't know that for the past three years, I have spent every single day thinking about him. Thinking about us and the 'what if's?' He doesn't know how even though he hurt me so bad, I had already forgiven him for everything. He doesn't know how much I still love him. He can't know." Kurt is sobbing at this point. "He can't know because my heart won't let him."

Blaine doesn't know what to say right now. Kurt just said he still loved him.

He tries to reach out for Kurt, but Kurt flinches back and wraps his arms around himself. "No Blaine! You don't get to do this anymore! Why did you have to come back?!" _What the hell is with his mood swings?! _Blaine thinks.

"Because I love you, Kurt! How many times do I have to apologize for ever hurting you?! I regret it the most okay?! I cried myself to sleep for months when you left me. I thought being with Sebastian was karma for what I did to you. That I deserved every hit he gave me, because I hurt the one person I ever loved." Tears are streaming down Blaine's face. He wipes them away angrily and turns away from Kurt.

Kurt is frozen where he is standing, seeming a bit more sober than he was a few minutes ago. "Blaine-"

"No, Kurt." Blaine interrupts. "I can see where I'm not wanted. Its not the first time. I'll be back tomorrow to get my things and I'll be out of your life again. Forever."

This time, Kurt is the one that watches Blaine leave him.

When Blaine leaves the apartment, he doesn't really know where he's going, until he stops in front of a bar. He walks in, trying to get his mind off of Kurt. He's sitting at the bar, nursing a beer. No matter how hard he tried, the thoughts of Kurt still lurked around in his mind.

_Do I really want to leave? No. Should I leave? Kurt doesn't want me there. Well he never actually said that, but he pretty much implied it. But where will I go? I can't go back to Sebastian's. I have no one else out here, except for Kurt. He makes me feel safe. And he did say he still loved me. Maybe if we took it slow… No! He doesn't want me that way, no matter what he says. I can't leave. Not this time. I won't let him go this time._

Blaine has made up his mind, and pays the tab on the drinks he's had. But before he can turn around to leave, he hears a familiar voice that leaves him shocked frozen.

"Well hello, Blaine."


	6. Chapter 5

**A/N: I know its been two weeks since the last update. Life got in the way for a bit. Hope this makes up for it. Enjoy! :)**

* * *

Blaine wakes with a groan. He can feel the sun on his face and does his best to shelter himself from it. He hears someone clear their throat and immediately tenses. He hears the person do it again, and jumps up, fearing the worst. He regrets it right away when he feels the pounding in his head. He lets out another groan and looks up at the blurry figure in front of him. They hand him a glass of water and two aspirin.

It's when Blaine actually hears them speak, that he knows exactly who it is. _Kurt._

"How are you feeling?" Kurt asks softly.

"How did I end up here?"

"Well, what's the last thing you remember?"

"I was at a bar, and was about to leave when-" Blaine cuts off sharply.

"When…?" Kurt prods.

"Sebastian." Blaine whispers.

_Blaine turns slowly and sees Sebastian with that same smirk he knew very well by now._

"_Stay away from me, Sebastian." Blaine says through clenched teeth, trying to hide his slight fear._

"_Oh, simmer down Blainey. You know I'd never hurt you." He leans in close to Blaine's ear. "Without reason." He whispers._

_Blaine pushes him away and tries to leave, but with Sebastian being in his way, makes it more difficult._

_All of a sudden, a man looking to be about the same age as Blaine slides behind Sebastian and slips his arms around his waist. He begins to nibble on his ear, trying to get him back to their table. Blaine looks as if he's about to be sick._

"_Who's this baby?" The man purrs in Sebastian's ear._

"_He's the one I told you about." _

"_Oh, you mean the asshole that broke your heart?" He looks to Blaine on the verge of anger._

"_The very one." Sebastian says almost as if it wasn't a big deal._

"_I'm the asshole? You fucking hit me!" Blaine yells. "And you-" He says looking directly at Sebastian's new boy toy, "Get out while you can. You don't need someone like this in your life. He's going to hurt you."_

"_See, that's where we're different. I give him what he wants. I can satisfy him in every way you didn't. He has no reason to hurt me. You just weren't good enough. And from what Sebastian has told me, you were never good enough. Right, baby?" He looks over to Sebastian._

_Blaine is fuming. Angry tears threatening to fall._

"_That's right. Not enough for his parents. Not enough for L.A or New York. And…" He pauses. "Not enough for Kurt. Let's go. Bye Blaine." With that, Sebastian leaves, lover by his side, signature smirk still plastered on._

_That was all it took for Blaine to break. He turns around, back to the bar and orders a shot and tells the bartender to keep them coming._

Upon reliving that, Blaine is once again trying to hold back his tears. He hated how Sebastian was able to do this to him so easily.

"So is that all?" Kurt asks.

"Yeah. Did something else happen?"

"Well, you asked me how you ended up here. You called me, drunk off your ass…"

_Kurt was fast asleep, after his fight with Blaine. Its a couple of hours later, when he hears a faint ringing sound around him. Eventually it becomes louder, and Kurt realizes its his phone. He reaches blindly for it, and answers it without checking who it is. _

"_-llo" Kurt answers groggily. _

"_Kurt?" Kurt is more awake now once he hears the voice._

"_K-Kurt, are y-you there? P-please be t-there." Blaine is crying over the phone, sobbing after every other word._

"_Blaine? Yes, I'm here. I'm here! What's going on? Are you okay?" Kurt is stumbling out of bed, more alert that Blaine might be in trouble._

"_Kurt, c-can you c-come and get m-me. I s-saw S-s-Sebastian, and, and-" Blaine was cut off by another round of sobs that attack his body._

_Kurt's heart sunk. What if Sebastian tried to hurt him again? He needed to get to Blaine. Now._

"_Blaine? Blaine, I need you to tell me where you are."_

"_I'm at the bar." _

"_Okay. I'll be right there. Don't you move. I'll be right there, Blaine." Kurt knew exactly which bar Blaine was talking about. The closest one being about 15 minutes from his apartment._

"_Please hurry, Kurt." Blaine sounded desperate and pleading._

_Kurt is dressed in record time and out the door within minutes. He forgoes taking a taxi and begins to run. Running towards the bar. Running towards Blaine._

_Blaine is sitting on the curb outside the bar, with his knees drawn to his chest. His head is resting on them. Kurt has never seen him look so small. _

"_Blaine?" Kurt asks, walking slowly towards him._

_Blaine's head shoots up, and he sees Kurt. He jumps up and runs straight into Kurt's arms and holds him tight._

"_Kurt. Kurt. Kurt." Blaine whispers. Its almost as if he's making sure Kurt is real. _

"_Shh. It's okay, Blaine. I'm here now. Shh. It's going to be okay, Let's get you home."_

"So, that's what happened after." Kurt says.

"I'm so sorry, Kurt." Blaine croaks.

"What? Why?" Kurt asks, confused.

"For everything. If I hadn't sang those songs last night at the show, you wouldn't have left in a hurry. You wouldn't have gotten drunk. We wouldn't have fought, and I wouldn't have left. I could have avoided this whole thing if I'd just accepted the fact that I'm just never going to get what I want. Sebastian was right. He's always right. I'll be out of your hair within an hour, Kurt." Blaine says. He gets out of his bed and sways a bit. Kurt is by his side speedily, and holds him steady.

"Whoa there. C'mon sit back down, and lets talk." Kurt says softly. Blaine does as he says and retreats back to the bed. "Now, you are not going anywhere." Kurt says firmly. "What happened last night was horrible, especially for you, and we both said things that we were holding in for a while, but I did not kick you out." Kurt hesitates for a moment, before continuing. "I w-want you to stay." He says quietly.

"What?" Blaine asks dumbfounded.

"I want you to stay, Blaine." Kurt says more confident. Before Blaine can say anything, Kurt opens his mouth again. "Now, you are going to go and freshen up, while I go and make breakfast. I'll see you in about 20 minutes." And with that, he leaves the room, without a second glance at Blaine.

Kurt is just finishing putting all the food on both plates when Blaine walks in, looking much better than when he woke up.

"Hey, do you mind helping me put the plates on the table?" Kurt asks, smiling over at Blaine.

"Um, sure." He takes the plates, while Kurt takes the coffee to the table.

They both sit, and begin to eat right away. It's not so much as an uncomfortable silence, more like an awkward one. Blaine decides to break it, taking a chance.

"Did you mean what you said last night?" He asks softly.

"Which part? I mean, I said a lot last night." Kurt is beginning to get nervous. He knows what Blaine is talking about, he's just not sure if he could maintain keeping his walls up any longer and it scares him.

"About… um, about forgiving me? About t-thinking about me? S-still loving m-me?" Blaine stutters out. He's afraid to know the answer. He doesn't want Kurt to close himself off more than he already is. He waits impatiently for Kurt's answer. He looks up at Kurt and is surprised to see him crying silently in his seat. Blaine immediately regrets asking Kurt about last night when he sees the pain he's caused. He gets up and makes his way over to Kurt slowly and kneels in front of him.

"Kurt? Talk to me please." Blaine reaches out to grab one of Kurt's hand and squeezes tightly.

Kurt looks down at Blaine. He has a look in his eyes that Blaine hasn't seen in about 3 years. "Yes. I meant every word." And then he leans toward Blaine, hoping Blaine will get the hint and follow his lead. Blaine definitely gets it, and is leaning in as well. They can feel each others breath, lips barely touching.

_My heart's a stereo, it beats for you so listen close_

Both boys are startled by the sudden sound and jump back. Kurt is out of his seat and answers his phone breathlessly.

"Hello?"

"Kurt! How are you? You left in such a hurry yesterday, and I was worried about you. Is everything okay?" _Jeremy. _Kurt mouths at Blaine. He nods and sits down in what was Kurt's seat. Kurt goes to the living room to continue the call. Blaine is stuck. He was _so close _to kissing Kurt. He wonders what would've happened had Jeremy not called. His thoughts were interrupted when Kurt walks in. He's standing awkwardly, looking at Blaine.

"Jeremy was just checking up on me." Kurt says.

"That was nice of him." Blaine replies.

"I'm sorry for w-what almost h-happened." Kurt stutters out.

"What almost happened?" Blaine says, feigning innocence. Kurt can see that Blaine is trying hard not to smile.

"This." And then Kurt is striding towards Blaine and pulls him into a bruising kiss. Blaine wraps his arms around Kurt and draws him in closer, deepening the kiss.

They pull back, faces still close, breathing heavily. "Kurt."

"Blaine… Blaine? Hello earth to Blaine?" Blaine blinks and looks up to find Kurt waving a hand in front of his face with an amused look. "You okay there?"

"Uh, yeah! Yeah, I'm good. I'm just tired. Yeah, tired. I'm just gonna go to my room now. You know, get some rest, because I'm so tired. I'll just see you later. Yeah, later. Bye." Blaine pretty much sprinted to his room, leaving Kurt confused, but also amused by how flustered Blaine just got.

_What was he thinking about before I walked in?_


	7. Chapter 6

Since their last "kitchen confession" Kurt and Blaine have been a bit careful around each other. Kurt seems to start feeling more comfortable around Blaine, and Blaine? Well Blaine can't help but want Kurt.

Everything Kurt does makes him crave him more. Lets not even get him started when they eat dinner together. Kurt moaning after the first bite, and licking the fork clean... Yeah, Blaine needed him. But he's not too sure when he should go for it. Sure Kurt may still love him, but does that mean he wanted Blaine to act on it? Well there was only one way to find out. So he begins to plot.

Kurt's noticed Blaine acting a bit odd near him. Almost as if he's cautious with everything he does around him. Kurt can't help but wonder what's going on under that head of curls. He gets his answer one night after they finished eating dinner. They're both at the sink, Kurt washing and Blaine drying the dishes. They both can't help but think it feels domestic.

Kurt looks over at Blaine and he looks as if he's thinking a bit too hard about something.

"Blaine? Is everything okay?" Kurt asks.

"Huh? Oh y-yeah! Why wouldn't it be?" Blaine says nervously, not looking Kurt in the eye.

"Well its just that you look like you have something on your mind, and you know I'm here if you ever want to talk." Kurt says gently.

Blaine takes a deep breath and lets it out. _Here goes nothing. _He raises his eyes to find Kurt watching him carefully. "K-Kurt, you know how we've been much better with each other lately? I was... just wondering... would it b-be okay if we went out for... for d-dinner tomorrow night?" He stutters out.

"Sure! I've been wanting to eat out sometime. I'm tired of cooking." Kurt says, oblivious to what Blaine is really asking of him.

Blaine looks hopeful. "Really? You don't think its t-too soon or anything?"

"Too soon? Why would it be too soon? Its been long overdue! Its about time we went out for dinner instead of staying in all the time. Oh! Maybe I can invite Brittany! I haven't seen her in a while." Kurt is excited, but Blaine is confused now. Did Kurt not understand that Blaine was asking him on a date?

"Kurt. Wait, Kurt. I was k-kind of hoping it'd just be me and you."

Kurt stops his ramble when Blaine speaks. Did he just hear right? Was Blaine asking him out on a date?

"As in... a date?" Kurt says.

"Y-yeah." Kurt inhales sharply, and Blaine rushes to say, "B-But if you think its too soon, then that's okay. We can just forget it, and just invite whoev-" Kurt then stops Blaine's rambling but putting his finger to his lips. Blaine looks into Kurt's eyes and sees an amused glint in them.

Once he's sure Blaine won't interrupt him, Kurt lowers his hand and only then does he reply, a soft smile gracing his lips.

"I'd love to."


End file.
